Author: Ariel
Tachna
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Genre: M/M Contemporary Series
Release Date: May 20, 2013
Blurb:
Office manager Sam
Emery is unemployed and out of luck. When his emotionally abusive wife demands
a divorce, he contacts the one person he has left, his brother, Neil. He
doesn’t expect Neil to reject him, but he also doesn’t expect the news of his
divorce—and of his sexuality—to be met with such acceptance.
Neil takes Sam to Lang Downs, the sheep station Neil calls home. There, Sam
learns that life as a gay man isn’t impossible. Caine and Macklin, the station
owners, certainly seem to be making it work. When Caine offers Sam a job, it’s
a dream come true.
Jeremy Taylor leaves the only home he’s ever known when his brother’s
homophobia becomes more than he can bear. He goes to the one place he knows he
will be accepted: Lang Downs. He clicks with Sam instantly—but the animosity
between Lang Downs and Jeremy’s home station runs deep, and the jackaroos won’t
accept Jeremy without a fight. Between Sam’s insecurity and Jeremy’s precarious
position, their road will be a hard one—and that’s without having to wait for
Sam’s divorce to be final before starting a new life together.
EXCERPT:
CAINE NEIHEISEL
looked up from the tax forms that were currently driving him batty when he
heard a knock at the office door. It wouldn’t be Macklin because his lover and
the foreman of Lang Downs wouldn’t bother knocking.
“Come in.”
“I’m sorry to disturb
you, boss,” Neil Emery said, sticking his head in. “Do you have a minute?”
“Of course,” Caine
said, setting aside the forms. “What can I do for you?”
“I need a favor. My
brother Sam called. His wife kicked him out, and he doesn’t have anywhere else to
go. He lost his job a year and a half ago, and I know it’s a lot to ask, but
could he come here for a month or two? Just until he gets back on his feet?”
“The last time I
checked, you and Molly had an extra room in your house. You don’t need my
permission to have someone stay there.”
“I’ll have to go
down to Yass to get him,” Neil said. “I can send him a bus ticket to get that
far, but it’ll still mean taking at least a day off.”
“Just let us know
when you’ll be gone so we can get someone to cover your chores.”
“I’ll leave Max with
Chris. Chris has learned enough about dogs that he can use Max to help move the
sheep down into the valley. I know it’s a bad time to be gone, but I can’t
afford to pay for a hotel for him for long—”
“Neil,” Caine
interrupted, “I’m not upset. He’s your brother. Of course you’re going to help
him out. I don’t know how much luck he’ll have doing a job search from here,
but even if all he does is recover from leaving his wife before figuring out
how to go back to town, he’s still welcome. We can afford to feed one more.”
“He could maybe help
you out in the office while he’s here,” Neil suggested. “He worked as an office
manager for a small hardware store until the owners retired and closed the
shop. At least he’d feel like he was contributing something instead of taking
handouts.”
“We’ll see when he
gets here,” Caine said, though the idea of having someone to help him figure
out the logistics of Australian tax law and employee benefits regulations would
be a huge help. Caine’s degree in business gave him enough background to make
sense of the jargon, but the difference in laws had tripped him up more than
once.
THREE days later,
Neil met his brother Sam at the bus station in Yass. The lines of stress and
worry on his brother’s face made him frown. “You look like shit.”
“Good to see you
too, arsehole,” Sam replied, hugging Neil more tightly than necessary.
“Come on,” Neil
said, grabbing Sam’s sole suitcase. “Let’s get out of here. We’ve got a long
drive ahead of us. Or do you want to eat something first?”
“How long?”
“Five hours or so,”
Neil said, “and most of that is through the tablelands, where there’s nowhere
to stop if you get hungry. I can shout you lunch, here or in Boorowa in an hour
or so, if you don’t think you can wait until we get home.”
“Lunch would be
good,” Sam admitted. “I… haven’t been eating well.”
Neil had noticed how
gaunt Sam looked, but this confirmed it. “Kami, the station’s cook, will get
you sorted in no time, but for now we can go to the Yass Hotel. It’s nothing
fancy, but it’ll fill you up.”
“What about that
one?” Sam asked, pointing to a small restaurant across from the bus station.
“We don’t eat
there,” Neil said, his voice cold. “One of our jackaroos nearly got killed
there last spring, and nobody lifted a finger to help him. His brother had to
come running to the hotel for help.”
“In a town this
size?”
“They didn’t take
well to him being a poofter,” Neil explained.
Sam didn’t reply.
Neil gritted his teeth when he saw the tense look on Sam’s face. He didn’t want
to fight with his brother, especially when he was down and out, but Sam was
going to have to keep his opinions to himself. Neil wouldn’t tolerate slurs
against Caine and Macklin from his brother any more than he would from any of
the other jackaroos on Lang Downs.
“So tell me about
the station,” Sam said once they’d reached the Yass Hotel and had ordered
lunch. “I mean, I know it’s kind of remote and I know you raise sheep, but
that’s as far as it goes.”
“That’s about all
there is to tell,” Neil said. “I told you about Molly when we got engaged.
Everything else is pretty much what you’d expect from a station. Well, except
Caine. He’s a Yank. He owns the station.”
“How did that
happen?”
“His great-uncle
founded the station. When he died, it passed to Caine’s mum in the States, but
she’s not young and wasn’t going to move here to run it, so Caine came. Last
year at Christmas, she gave it to him outright. You know, I bet he could use a
hand figuring out all the paperwork, taxes and shit. He’s got a head for
business, but he’s still a Yank. You could keep your hand in.”
“If he’ll let me
help,” Sam said with a sigh.
“Why wouldn’t he?”
Neil asked. “You lost your job because the owners retired. You weren’t fired or
laid off or anything like that. It’s not your fault you couldn’t find a new
job.”
Sam shrugged. “He
sounds like a good bloke. Is he married?”
Neil choked on his
beer. He’d been hoping to put off this conversation until later, but short of
lying, he didn’t see a way around it. “Last time I checked, two blokes can’t
get married here. Macklin’s name is on the deed, though, and he moved out of
the foreman’s house and into the big house a year ago, so I figure that’s close
enough.”
“You work for a gay
couple?”
“Sam, you’re my
brother and I love you, but if this is going to be a problem, you need to tell
me now so I can get you a hotel room in Yass.”
“No, it’s not a
problem,” Sam said quickly. “I’m just surprised. We didn’t exactly grow up in a
tolerant house.”
Neil shrugged.
“Caine saved my life and nearly died doing it. And he did it after I found out
he was gay and said every nasty thing I could think of to him. He’s earned my
loyalty.”
The arrival of their
food forestalled Sam’s reply, and he ate with such gusto that Neil didn’t press
for more of a reaction. He wasn’t in the mood to listen to all the homophobic
bullshit he’d grown up with. He was a different man now, a better one, he
hoped. If Sam could just give Caine and Macklin a chance, he’d see they deserved
his respect.
They finished eating
and headed north toward Boorowa. “Do you need anything?” Neil asked. “Supplies
of any kind? Once we leave Boorowa, there’s nowhere to stop.”
“No, I’m fine,” Sam
said. “Alison let me keep everything of mine.”
“One suitcase?” Neil
responded.
“I left some stuff
with friends,” Sam said. “I didn’t figure I’d need suits on the station.”
“No, you won’t,”
Neil agreed. “So tell me. What happened with you and Alison? Last time I saw
you, I thought you were happy.”
“She wanted someone
with a job, and I wanted…. It doesn’t matter what I wanted. She wanted out, and
I’m not going to fight her.”
“Is there someone
else?” Neil asked.
“I didn’t ask her,”
Sam said.
“What about you?”
“No one that
matters.”
“You slept around
and it didn’t even mean anything? That’s low, Sam.”
“It wasn’t like
that,” Sam insisted. “I….”
“You what, Sam?”
“I married her
because it’s what Mum and Dad expected. I didn’t feel like I had a choice, and
at least I liked Alison. We got along well enough, but that’s it. I never
really loved her. I don’t know if she loved me, but she doesn’t anymore, and
I’m fine with that. Dad’s gone. He can’t be disappointed in me now, so it
doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What are you
talking about? Why would you marry Alison if you didn’t love her? You could
have found someone else.”
“You already said
it,” Sam said. “It’s not legal for two blokes to get married.”
“You’re gay? Why
didn’t you say something?” The words were out before Neil could consider them,
the only thing he could think of to say in the wake of such surprising news.
Sam had been married! Neil had never dreamed his brother might be gay.
Sam shot him a look
of such incredulity that Neil flushed. “Sorry, that was stupid. Of course you
didn’t say anything while Dad was alive, but you still didn’t have to get
married. I didn’t. Not until I met the right girl.”
“Yeah, but you
aren’t gay. You might not have met the right girl, but you knew you would
someday. I didn’t have that, and you were gone. You didn’t have to listen to
him constantly after you left, going on and on about the family name and being
a man and getting married and having children. Thank God Alison and I decided
to wait to have kids.”
“Did she know about
you?”
“Not when we got
married. After I lost my job and couldn’t find another one, things got… tense
at home. Money was tight. I felt like a failure for living off her income. We
fought all the time. We agreed to a trial separation nine months ago, with her
helping me out with the rent, but I think that was almost worse, because she
was supporting me completely. I wanted to feel good. I wanted to spend a few
hours with someone who didn’t make me feel worthless.”
“So you did what?
Hooked up with some random guys?”
“Yeah, pretty much,”
Sam said. “It was stupid. I knew it when I did it, but it felt good too. They
didn’t care that I didn’t have a job. They didn’t care that I was in the
closet. They just cared that I’d let them do whatever they wanted to me. Alison
kept on about getting a new job, always threatening to stop paying my rent if I
didn’t get my act together. She actually had a lead on one, but it was with a
cousin of hers, and he made it pretty obvious he’d only be hiring me out of
pity. I turned down the job and told her I’d find somewhere else to live.
There’s no way I could go back to that.”
“I wish I’d known,”
Neil said. “I’d have tried to make it easier for you.”
“There’s nothing you
could have done,” Sam said. “I had to fuck up to see how bad off I was.”
“So what now?”
“Now nothing,” Sam
said. “I won’t fight Alison for anything when we can finally file for divorce
in three months. She gets the house, the car, everything, because she’s paid
for most of it, and I don’t want the black mark on my name if I ever get a lead
on a job somewhere that might care if I’m gay.”
“There’s not a lot
of opportunity for anonymous sex, gay or straight, on the station,” Neil
warned. “There’s a couple of other jackaroos who are gay besides Caine and
Macklin, but Chris and Jesse are shacked up, and the others will be leaving
when the season is over in a few weeks.”
“So I’ll do
without,” Sam said with a shrug. “It won’t be the first time.” He hesitated,
then added, “I got enough of faceless fumbling this year. I’d rather do without
until I can meet someone. I know that probably won’t happen on the station, and
really, starting a relationship before I’m even divorced would be stupid, but
I’d rather do without than feel like a cheap trick again.”
“I thought you said
it made you feel good?”
“The sex, yes.
Afterward, no,” Sam explained. “I don’t imagine you want details.”
“Not really,” Neil
said with a grimace. “I might not let anyone say anything about Caine and
Macklin, but I don’t need to know what goes on in their bedroom. Same goes for
you.”
Sam’s smile was the
most genuine Neil had seen since he’d picked his brother up at the bus station.
“Thank you.”
“YOU need to go to Melbourne this winter,”
Devlin Taylor said, turning to face his younger brother Jeremy. “You need to
find a good woman, settle down, start a family.”
Jeremy only barely
managed not to roll his eyes at his brother across the breakfast table in the
main house. Devlin refused to eat in the canteen with the jackaroos. He said it
was “beneath him.” They had been through this discussion of his relationship
status more times than he could count. He would get married when he was damn
well ready—not likely to happen anytime soon since he wasn’t going to marry a
woman and he couldn’t legally marry a man—and Devlin could take his meddling
and matchmaking and shove them up his arse. “I was planning a trip to Sydney,” Jeremy replied,
“but just for a week or two, to unwind a bit from the summer.”
“That’s not long
enough to meet someone,” Devlin protested.
“Maybe because I
don’t want to meet someone?” Jeremy retorted. “Not like that. We aren’t
having this conversation again.”
“Be careful, boy,”
Devlin said as if he were Jeremy’s father, not his older brother. Granted, the
twelve years between them meant he and Devlin had never been all that close,
never had the shared childhood so many siblings drew on to bond as adults.
“People will start talking. You’re thirty-four. That’s more than old enough to
get settled down proper. You keep on like you are, people are going to start
saying you’re like those pillow biters up at Lang Downs.”
“So what if they
think that?” Jeremy replied hotly, not the least because it was true. He hated
the term as much as he hated his brother’s homophobic rants, but he could
hardly deny he was gay, even if he had conveniently forgotten to tell his
brother that one important detail. “Armstrong runs a tight ship at Lang Downs,
regardless of who he’s sleeping with, and when you had to fire that fucker who
sabotaged their fences, Neiheisel let it go without pursuing you or him. They
aren’t hurting anybody by being together.”
“No brother of mine
is going to be known as a poofter!” Devlin roared.
“Better an honest
poofter than a homophobic bigot who still can’t run a station as well as the
‘pillow biters’ at Lang Downs,” Jeremy shouted back.
Devlin’s angry bellow
gave Jeremy the warning he needed to dodge the punch his brother sent flying in
his direction. His own ire raised now, he countered with an uppercut of his
own, catching his brother squarely under the jaw. Devlin staggered back, then
narrowed his eyes as he came at Jeremy again. Jeremy tried to block the blow,
but Devlin connected anyway. Jeremy rocked back, catching himself on the edge
of the desk in Devlin’s office, and slammed his brother’s face into the wooden
surface when Devlin lunged at him again. He had the briefest moment of relief
that at least none of the jackaroos still on the station would see them
fighting like this before Devlin was up again and plowing his fist into
Jeremy’s gut. He doubled over and went for Devlin’s knees. When his brother
went down, he stayed there, glaring at Jeremy with such hatred that Jeremy took
a step back.
“Get out,” Devlin
spat, blood running from the corner of his mouth. “Don’t come back until you’ve
got a wife and a respectable life.”
Jeremy closed his
eyes for a second, knowing from the tone of Devlin’s voice how deadly serious
he was. “I’ll be gone before sunset.”
“And don’t take
anything that belongs to the station,” Devlin added.
That would be
impossible, since Jeremy had never bothered drawing a salary and bought what he
needed with station funds the same way Devlin did, but Jeremy was tired of
arguing with his brother. He would take what he considered to be his personal
belongings and leave the rest. He could replace anything else once he got a job
on another station. He hoped Lang Downs was hiring because that would be an
extra punch to his brother’s gut, but if they weren’t, Jeremy figured he had
enough experience to get a job pretty much anywhere.
He climbed the
stairs to his room, rubbing his jaw where Devlin’s fist had caught him, and
proceeded to pack his clothes and toiletries. He considered taking his phone
but decided Devlin would just cancel the contract if he did since it was on the
station’s account. Looking at the duffel that contained everything in the world
he could truly consider his, he scowled at the sorry state of his life. He
should have done this years ago.
“I’m taking my car,”
he told Devlin when he got downstairs. “I’ll send it back when I get where I’m
going.”
Devlin didn’t even
look up from where he sat at his desk, a cold pack on his lip.
Jeremy turned on his
heel and walked out of the house where he’d grown up, whistling for Arrow, his
kelpie, as he went. It was time to shake the dust of Taylor Peak
off his feet.
“IT’S too early for
Neil to be back, isn’t it?” Caine asked Macklin, looking down the valley at the
plume of dust from the gravel road.
“I wasn’t expecting
him before dinner,” Macklin said, following Caine’s gaze.
“Are we expecting
anyone else?”
“Not that I was
aware of,” Macklin said. “I guess we should go see who it is.”
“I can handle it if
you want to stay here and finish getting the sheep settled,” Caine offered,
though he knew Macklin would refuse.
“No, I’ll go with
you,” Macklin said.
Caine gave his lover
an indulgent smile. He still hadn’t figured out what kind of trouble Macklin
thought he would get into walking across the valley by himself, especially
since Polly, Jason’s dog, had been on Caine’s heels all day and didn’t seem
inclined to leave now, but Caine didn’t argue either. He could handle
whatever or whoever was driving down their road by himself, but that didn’t
mean he would enjoy it, depending on what it was.
As the dust cloud
approached, Caine could make out a plain black Jeep much like the ones they
used at Lang Downs for trips to town. Eventually it pulled up to where they
were standing and a man Caine didn’t know climbed out, followed by a solid
brown kelpie with the bluest eyes Caine had ever seen on a dog.
“Taylor?” Macklin said, tensing at Caine’s
side. “What are you doing here?”
Taylor meant Taylor Peak,
and that meant their jackass of a neighbor, but this wasn’t Devlin Taylor. This
man was closer to Caine’s age than Macklin’s, and much more the typical
jackaroo than Devlin Taylor could ever hope to be.
“Sorry to arrive
uninvited,” Taylor
said, “but my brother kicked me off the station. I’m hoping you’ve got space
for one more, for a day or two, anyway.”
“Why did he kick you
out?” Macklin asked.
“I got tired of
listening to his bullshit,” Taylor
said. “I called him on it and he didn’t take it well.”
“That how you got
the shiner?” Macklin asked.
“Yeah, but it was
worth it,” Taylor
replied. “The look on his face was priceless.”
“What did you say?”
Macklin asked, his voice sounding amused now.
“He was going on
about you two, the way he does when he gets in a snit,” Taylor said. “I told him I’d rather work for
you than for a homophobic bigot who still couldn’t run his station as well as
the two men he was so determined to insult.”
Caine couldn’t stop
the grin that crossed his face. “Caine Neiheisel,” he said, holding out his
hand to their guest. “Welcome to Lang Downs.”
“Jeremy Taylor. Nice
to finally meet you.”
“So are you looking
for a place to crash for a few days or are you looking for a job?” Macklin
asked after Caine and Jeremy had shaken hands.
“A job, if you’ve
got one, but at this point, I’ll settle for not having to drive to Boorowa
tonight.”
“The foreman’s
position is already taken,” Macklin said, not quite cracking a smile, although
Caine thought he heard amusement in the words, “but we’ve got space in the
bunkhouse.”
“It’s a roof over my
head,” Taylor
said. “That’s good enough for me.”
“Come on, then.
We’ll find you a bunk,” Macklin said. “Caine, you want to tell Kami there will
be one more for dinner?”
“Of course,” Caine
said, even though he was dying to go with them and find out more about their
newest stray. But he would have time. He didn’t have to know everything right
now.
“SO YOU want to tell
me what was different this time?” Macklin asked as he led Jeremy toward the
bunkhouse, Arrow following on their heels. “Devlin’s been shouting filth in our
direction for more than a year, since he found out about Caine, and he’s been
pressuring you to fit into his mold for longer than that.”
“He started in about
me getting married,” Jeremy said. “Same shit, different day, but today I just
got tired of it. He can shout and threaten all he wants. I’m not getting
married because of it, and I got sick of listening to it.”
“That station is
your birthright too.”
Jeremy shook his
head. “Not in any way that counts. His name’s on the deed. Maybe Dad meant for
us to run it together, but he didn’t give me any actual say in it in any kind
of legal way that I could enforce. I was at uni still when he died, so maybe
that made a difference. Who knows? I’ve spent more than ten years being ignored
every time I’ve tried to point out to Devlin a way to improve something. Never
mind that I’m the one with the degree in animal management, not him. I’m his
kid brother, so I don’t know anything. I got tired of it, and listening to him
insult you was one thing too many.”
“You know the rumors
that are going to make the rounds since you came here instead of going to a
different station,” Macklin said. “Nobody here cares what the gossips have to
say, but it might make going somewhere else later harder than if you went to a
different station.”
Jeremy shrugged.
“They won’t be saying anything that isn’t true. Maybe I never told anybody.
Maybe I’d never planned on telling anybody, but that doesn’t make it less
true.”
Macklin just nodded
like he’d known all along, making Jeremy wonder what was going on behind that
inscrutable stockman mask Jeremy knew so well. He’d put it on himself so many
mornings he wasn’t sure how to take it off anymore. Had Macklin suspected? Or
did he simply accept it that easily? Jeremy wasn’t sure it mattered, and it
made him more grateful than he could say.
“It’s up to you what
you tell people or don’t,” Macklin said as they reached the bunkhouse. “I’m not
one for telling tales.”
“Thanks,” Jeremy
said. “It’ll be hard enough in there, being a Taylor. Being gay won’t help.”
“Depends on who
you’re talking to,” Macklin said with a grin. “Some of them might consider that
a point in your favor.”
“I’m here to work,
not to fuck around,” Jeremy said. “I’m not interested in a relationship.”
Macklin laughed.
“Where have I heard that before? I appreciate the attitude, but as long as the
work’s done, the rest is up to you and whoever you choose to spend your time
with. I don’t keep tabs on my men’s personal lives unless they interfere with
the job.”
They went inside and
peeked in rooms until they found an empty bunk. “You can take a few minutes to
unpack if you want,” Macklin offered. “You can meet us at the sheds.”
“And have someone
come in and see me and think I’m here without your permission?” Jeremy said,
tossing his duffel on the bed. “I’ll unpack tonight after work. By then
hopefully everyone will realize I’m here with your blessing.”
“Most of the ones
here in the bunkhouse are too new to remember the dustup with Devlin,” Macklin
replied. “They might recognize your name, but it’s only the year-rounders, who tend
to have houses of their own, who might have an issue with you.”
Jeremy wasn’t sure
if that made things better or worse. The jackaroos in the bunkhouse would be
leaving in a few weeks, for the most part, off to wherever they spent the
winter once the bulk of the work from breeding was done. Jeremy would have the
bunkhouse pretty much to himself after that, but the men he would have to work
with when the seasonal hires were gone all knew his family, his brother, and
the ongoing animosity between the two stations. Or, to be fair, the ongoing
animosity Devlin felt toward Lang Downs. Jeremy had never shared that
sentiment, even before Caine’s arrival and finding out both he and Macklin were
gay, but while Macklin knew that, Jeremy doubted the others would.
“I’ll still make a
better impression by coming to work now, since I know there’s work to be done,”
Jeremy said.
“There’s always work
to be done,” Macklin said with a shrug.
“Then let’s get to
it,” Jeremy said. “Come on, Arrow.”
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